Forever, Part 12

(We open at Carlino's where Vicky and Becca have just ordered)

Becca: Okay.  So what bugs you about the trip?

Vicky: (shrugs her off trying not to make eye contact with Becca for fear she will see the truth there) Nothing really . . .

Becca: Yeah, right.  You just won't look me in the eye.  Is this about your deal with snow again?

Vicky: (looking at Becca now) What deal with snow again?

Becca: That one time I had dinner at your house and it started to snow and you wouldn't let me leave.  You don't like people to drive in the snow you said.  Actually, it's more than that though, isn't it??  I knew something then, but I dropped it because you seemed so genuinely upset I didn't want to add to things.  What is it??  You can tell me.  Whatever it is.

Vicky: (reaching out her hands to Becca's who takes them) My father died in a snowstorm.  He was driving when he shouldn't have been.

Becca: Oh, I'm soo sorry, Vicky.  And this cabin . . .

Vicky: . . . was where he was going when the accident happened.

Becca: Oh, God.  Why does Jake want to go there then?  Why don't you guys just get rid of the place?

Vicky: Jake wants to work through some things . . . put the past behind us . . . before the baby comes.

Becca: Why do I think there's more to this story?

Vicky: There is . . . it was my fault . . . I killed him.

Becca: You "killed him"?  Come on, Vick, talk to me.

Vicky: Look it was a while ago, and there's nothing you or anyone else can do about it.

Becca: It's really eating you up inside. Let me help.

Vicky: Michael's dead.  He died trying to come up here during a snow storm.

Becca: And how does that make it YOUR fault?

Vicky: I don't want to get into this.

Becca: Talk to me Vick.  What happened?

Vicky: There was this guy, Shane Roberts, he and I were together for a while before Jake and I got married.  He was up here that night and I came to see him.  It snowed, the cars crashed, Michael died.

Becca: Isn't this where I came in?

Vicky: Yeah, sort of, you met Jake shortly afterwards.

Becca: So, details . . . Come on, Vick.

Vicky: All right, all right.   This guy and I had what I guess you'd call "unresolved feelings" for each other and I came up here to see Shane and they almost did something about our "feelings".  I swear to you, Becca . . . THAT IS NOT WHY I WENT UP THERE!!!  I just couldn't let him . . . he once meant something to me and I couldn't let him destroy his life's work.  Then I realized how dumb I was being and asked Shane to drive me back home.  Michael was on his way up here and the cars crashed.  Both of them died.

Becca: What do you mean he "once meant something to you"??  Were you in love with him?

Vicky: Yes . . . No . . . I thought I was . . . see he had Ryan's eyes and the whole Jake thing scared the hell out of me . .

Becca: Whoa!  Ryan?!?  Who's he?  And what does it matter about his eyes?  You lost me.

Vicky: Okay.  I'll slow down here and rewind . . . "Ryan" was Ryan Harrison . . . he was the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  Only . . . he was murdered.

Becca: Murdered?!?  How?  Why?

Vicky: (sighs) His brother, Grant, killed him, (sighs again) but that's another story for another day.  Main thing is I loved him more than life and when he died, I felt like I had died too.  For a long time, I was just dead inside.

Becca: Yuck.  Okay, so what was the deal with his eyes and this Shane guy?

Vicky: Ryan was an organ donor and Shane received his corneas and . . . other things. I was just soooo sad for soooo long and . . .

Becca: And you felt like some part of Ryan still existed in this guy, Shane.  Okay.  But you also said the "whole Jake thing scared you"?

Vicky: (unconsciously avoiding the question) It was more than just that.  Shane gave me something to fight for . . . a cause to believe in . . . I needed that . . . Bridget always said nothing got my back up like a good fight . . .

Becca: Okay . . . Got it.  He distracted you . . . where was JAKE during all this?

Vicky: (head sinks to the table) Um . . . he was busy being hopelessly in love with me and trying to prove himself to me.   Meanwhile, I was busy ignoring him, and being generally clueless or worse yet . . . falling all over some other guy!

Becca: So, I take they weren't friends, huh?

Vicky: Uh . . . NO!  Actually, they were bitter rivals to the end.  I thought Jake was just being possessive and jealous.  He was being sooo sweet to me, and at times, I really treated him horribly.  I don't know why he put up with it.

Becca: So . . . let me get this straight . . . you're falling all over this guy while Jake is . . .

Vicky: falling all over me. I'm not sure which was more pathetic.  At best, I ignored Jake . . . at worst I flat out hurt him.  Jake just didn't trust him and I couldn't deal with Jake's romantic interest in me.

Becca: Explain . . . "falling all over you".

Vicky: Oh let's see . . . he carried an engagement ring around for weeks . . . "liberated" a Christmas tree and then decorated it with symbols from our past . . . fought with me constantly about Shane . . . even went and did the detective thing into his past and hacked into his CONFIDENTIAL medical files . . . and oh yeah, helped me save the guy from DEATH ROW after he pierced a lung!

Becca: So wait a sec . . . Jake helped you SAVE his RIVAL???  Umm . . . WHY?

Vicky: (Covering face with her hands for a sec) Why else?  For me . . . he loves me and just wanted me to be happy.

Becca: AND why EXACTLY weren't you getting this idea?!??  What could this guy Shane have possibly had over Jake?

Vicky: Nothing.  That's why I married JAKE.  But, Jake was a scary concept . . . surely YOU understand that.

Becca: ME?  Why would I . . .

Vicky: (smirking) Um . . . Nick?

Becca: I AM NOT AFRAID OF NICK!!!

Vicky: Yeah, right . . . Well it's just that with Ryan gone and Jake had already died on me once . . . if things didn't work out . . . I just couldn't take the risk.

Becca: So . . . what happened?  Why'd you finally leave this Shane?

Vicky: Cause Jake was the guy for me and I just realized that when things got so complicated with Shane.  As a matter of fact . . . as things got more and more complicated with Shane . . . things seemed to get simpler and clearer with Jake.  See, Shane had a wife . . .

Becca: Lila the destroyer . . .

Vicky: Yep and they were still mixed up in  each others lives and Jake . . . I just couldn't get rid of him . . .no matter how hard I tried . . . and I began to wonder why I would even want to . . . I mean he loved me and only me and he was obviously willing to do ANYTHING to ensure my happiness . . . He'd proven that over and over again.  Being without him wasn't an option for me anymore and I began to realize it never really had been.

Becca: And so you chose Jake.  How'd this . . . (with a bit of disgust) Shane . . .   take the TRUTH?

Vicky: Not well . . .  he was a man obsessed . . .  he even crashed the wedding and my shower!  Drove Jake NUTS!  I tried to stay away from him and Jake and I were even going to move away when the accident happened.  I still had feelings for Shane . . . BUT I LOVED JAKE . . .  I did . . .  I do . . .

Becca: Honey, I know.  So, you wanna tell me about the night of the accident?

Vicky: I might as well finish the story . . .

Becca: What was your Dad doing going up to the cabin?

Vicky: Being Michael.  He knew I was up there and he was trying to stop me from totally and completely destroying my life.

Becca: So, let me get this straight, this guy, Shane, was up there with you and you almost slept together and then you didn't and the cars crashed. And that's how your father died? How awful!!!

Vicky: Things fell apart after Michael died.  Everything did, for everyone.

Becca: That's why Jake was hanging out in strip bars in Chicago?  Because you almost cheated on him?  Man, I never want to be that dependent on anyone!!!  Just the thought that you . . .

Vicky: (putting her hands through her hair and shifting uncomfortably) Well, it's not exactly just that.  Jake lost it because of the way he found out.

Becca: Okay . . . so . . .

Vicky: Jake . . . He got arrested for negligent homicide or something in Michael and Shane's deaths.

Becca: What?!?

Vicky: It was awful.  This woman, Lila Roberts, got him arrested for causing their deaths.  Jake was supposed to have warned Shane of the road conditions.  He tried, but . . .

Becca: How was that up to Jake?

Vicky: Cause he was on his way up there too.  He told some deputy that he'd warned Shane.

Becca: What was Jake doing?

Vicky: (starting to cry) Coming after me.

Becca: He knew you were up there?

Vicky: Not exactly.  I called him from my cell phone and told him I was in Chicago.

Becca: But he decided to check it out anyway . . . God, he didn't see the accident did he?

Vicky: No.  He really never even knew I was up there until the trial.  No one did, except Donna.

Becca: Why was there a trial?  I don't get it. And what do you mean no one knew except Donna?  

Vicky: After the accident Donna made me lie about where I had been to everyone. I made her lie about everything. The accident, which I was in, of course, and the phone call that Jake made.  I didn't want to . . . Becca . . . I promise you . . . but she made it sound like I'd lose Jake if I didn't . . .

Becca: Oh, God.  Your father dies and you can't even tell her husband the truth about it.  You must have really . . . Wait a minute.  I know Donna can be pushy, but you can usually hold your own.
 
Vicky:  She really made it sound like lying was my only option to keep Jake and then we found out about Dad and she kept saying that if I told the truth he would've died in vain . . . and . . . I was in shock, and Donna is my mother.

Becca: (Eyes wide with shock and disbelief occasionally putting her hand over her mouth) And so you went along with it.  Until the trial when you had to admit everything in open court to save Jake from jail.

Vicky: With Jake cross-examining me.

Becca: No wonder he was drunk 24-7 when we met.

Vicky: Wait. There's more.  Michael died with an engagement ring in his pocket.

Becca: Oh my God!  Let me guess, they brought Michael's personal property over to Donna after the accident and she found it.  How incredibly sad, for all of you.

Vicky: And then things just seemed to snowball from there.  The trial, Jake leaving me, Marley's accident and then the fire, Marley losing her mind and her face.  She kidnapped me, you know.  Held me hostage for months.  And of course, who could forget the infamous journal!

Becca: Whoa! Slow down.  Marley actually kidnapped you?  What journal?

Vicky: Oh yeah.  Kept me in a basement til I almost died of pneumonia.   She really was sooo sick after the fire burned off her face. The journal was courtesy of none other than Lila Roberts herself.

Becca: AGAIN??  What was so special about this journal anyway?

Vicky: Well the whole time I kept swearing to anyone who would listen that I  had NEVER slept with Shane.  

Becca: Oh, I get it.  This journal said you had slept with him.

Vicky: Yep.  I never saw it.  But, Marley and Donna bought the whole thing hook, line, and sinker. Donna was soo mad at me I was certain she hated me!!!  And no one would tell me why???  Donna ran Marley over with a car thinking it was me!!!

Becca: And SHE showed this journal to Jake.

Vicky: I'm not sure about that but they made sure he knew all about what it said.

Becca: No wonder Jake looked so pathetic when we met.  This . . . Lila Roberts . . . destroyed your life step by step.  

Vicky: Oh, yeah.  You should've seen me.  I was no better than he was.  Having anxiety attacks and not wanting to get dressed or take a shower much less leave the house.

Becca: Oh, Vicky . . . And you were all alone . . . I wish I had been here.

Vicky: I deserved to be alone.  Michael was dead.  It was my fault.  (Becca slugs her) OW!!  What was that for?

Becca: Did you take a gun to his head?

Vicky: No.

Becca: Did you give him some sort of lethal drug?

Vicky: No.

Becca: Did you mess with his car so it would crash?

Vicky: No, of course not, but . . .

Becca: But nothing!!!! Michael's death was an ACCIDENT.  It was not your fault.  Although I'm sure you were just as ready to blame yourself as the rest of them were.  But, the truth is that you didn't want him to die any more than the rest of the family did.  You did not go about trying to get him killed!!  You did not really do anything that actually caused his death, either.  And even if you don't believe that, don't you think you've paid enough for it anyway???    I mean, MY GOD, Vick, your husband left you,  your father died, it looks like your whole family deserted you and then YOU GOT KIDNAPPED!!  You said you almost died !!!  Come on!!

Vicky: You're right, I know you are . . . but there was just sooo much pain for such a long time . . . Pretty screwed up, huh?

Becca: No.  For a long time I felt the same way.  My father hurt me so badly . . . I needed someone to really hate, so I took it out on myself and everyone around me for a long time.

Vicky: You were pretty self-destructive?

Becca: Yep.  And what did it do for me?  Nothing.  I ended up alone, pregnant and working  in a strip club.

Vicky: So, you seem better now, how did you . . .

Becca: Fix things?  Joshua helped.  I realized I had to get on with my life or else he would never have a life.  I realized I had to stop hating myself and the world around me and that nothing would get better until I did.  I was just getting there when I met Jake.  Bad stuff happens.  You have to deal with and move on or else . . . you get stuck.

Vicky: Like we all did.  How did you get to be so smart?

Becca: (smiling and more than a little sarcasm in her voice) School of hard knocks, babe.  Only one I ever went to.

Vicky: (gives her a big huge hug) You don't hate me then?  (getting that look on her face when she's trying to blow something off that's really important to her) Cause . . . you know . . . my sister and my mother do.
 
Becca: Of course not!  Listen to me,Vicky.  It WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.  YOU DID NOT KILL YOUR FATHER.

Vicky: Still . . . I would understand if you didn't want to come with on this little family outing.

Becca: You and Jake are two of the best friends I've ever had and I'm just sorry I wasn't there to help you out when all of this happened.  Jake's right . . . you need to get this done with once and for all before the baby's born.

Vicky: Still . . .

Becca: Still, nothing.  We're all going to go and everyone will see that's it all in the past and that it can't hurt you anymore.  That's the great thing about the past . . . it can't hurt you anymore.

Vicky: I don't know about that one . . . but, thanks.

Becca: Anytime.

Vicky: Can we change the subject now . . .  the whole thing still gets me all . . .

Becca: Sure.  So . . . does your sister ALWAYS wake up early and go bring breakfast to people she barely knows?

Vicky: (laughs) She does get up AWFULLY early . . . but with a 2 year old I assume you were up anyway.

Becca: Yep.  We were just just deciding what to have ourselves.

Vicky: What'd she do . . .   Just ring the bell and say, "I have food"??

Becca: Basically . . . said she wanted to be friends and "get to know me better".  What ever that means?!?!

Vicky: And . . . things went okay??  No ummm . . .

Becca: Weirdness?  Not really.  Still think the whole thing's a little weird though . . . but she did seem for real this morning.  We even had a nice talk about that guy of hers . . . (smiles sheepishly) I think he's on his way out . . .. teased me about Nick a little . . . acted more like what I would think  a sister of yours would be like.

Vicky: Maybe she IS coming back then.  I've missed her . . .

Becca: What did she used to be like?

Vicky: Marley?  She was sooo together . . . I was jealous.  She always seemed to know what to do and how to do it.  Everyone loved her and I was just this trashy girl with spiked hair and leather.

Becca: Hey!!! You saying there's something wrong with leather???

Vicky: (smiles) Nope.  One of my favorite things . . . especially black leather jackets . . . It's just that in spite of everything Marley just always seemed soo, I don't know . . . perfect.

Becca: (puzzled) "In spite of everything"?  I thought she grew up here with your Mom in a mansion or something with the rest of your family??

Vicky: Yeah, she did . . . AS DONNA'S SISTER!!  They had this totally warped thing going on with Donna, Marley and my grandfather.  I don't even really know the all the details that happened . . . but still Marley was this totally angelic like person . . .

Becca: C'mon!  YOUR sister an ANGEL?!?!?

Vicky: She was . . . everyone thought so . . . she used to be the one who cleaned up MY messes!  SHE took care of ME!  In fact . . . she took care of EVERYONE . . . even had a clinic where she took care of kids who were sick.  She always tried to take care of people and make everyone happy

Becca: Sounds like she was trying to make up for something . . .

Vicky: For WHAT?!?  Until recently, she'd never done anything she NEEDED to make up for . . .

Becca: (mumbling) He said we had to make up for being born . . .

Vicky: Huh?  Did you say something?

Becca: Uh . . . nope.  Nothing . . . nothing at all . . .

Vicky: (noticing the far-off look in Becca's eyes and deciding to take advantage of it) Speaking of sisters . . . What were yours like?  You must miss them.  How many do you have?

Becca: (still quite spaced out)  Three.  Much older than me though . . . youngest was about your age though , I guess . . .

Vicky: Gee . . . thanks!!  Ancient then, huh?

Becca: (lost in thought) She used to take care of me . . . I remember her singing me to sleep or when I was . . . scared . . .

Vicky: (trying not to seem obvious but DEFINITELY taking advantage of any information she might be able to get about Becca's past) That must have made you feel better . . . what else do you remember?

Becca: My biggest sister was always sooo sad . . . we tried to make her feel better, but nothing helped . . . Now I think it was more than just sadness . . .

Vicky: Really?  What do you think it was?

Becca: A mix of loneliness and . . . grief.  She'd lost something . . . and she couldn't get it back.

Vicky: Oh. I'm sorry.  Which one was she?  What were their names again?

Becca: (snapping back to reality) Why do I get  the feeling I'm being interrogated all of a sudden??  My past is my past, Vick.  It's not pretty and it's not something I want to go into.  Neither of us will find it amusing or fun.  TRUST ME.

Vicky: It just sounds like you miss YOUR sister sometimes when we talk about MINE.

Becca: Yeah, right, Vick.  You just can't stand not knowing everything about me.  Drop it, okay?  Please.

Vicky: I just think someone might be worried.

Becca: (starting to get VERY upset) There's no one . . . I promise . . . not anymore . . .

Vicky: (realizing she has gone too far) Okay. I'm sorry.  I'll stop . . . (to herself) For Now.

Becca: (trying to regain her composure) Good.  Now about the trip.  Who�s going?

Vicky: Well, me, Jake, the kids, you, Nick & Josh.

Becca: No Donna??  No Marley??

Vicky: Well, Jake's idea is for them to come up for a night and then get the kids and leave with them.

Becca: Oh.  Well . . . then maybe I should stay behind then.

Vicky: What??  Why??

Becca: Well, if we're all up there . . . what'll I do with Josh??

Vicky: He can stay with my Mom . . . like Steven and Kirk are going to.  IS that a problem?

Becca: No . . . I guess not . . . it's just I don�t like to be away from him and why would Donna do that anyway??  It's  not like he's her grandson or something . . .

Vicky: You really have a problem with being included don't you?  You're family, that's why.  Part of what that means is free babysitting.

Becca: I'm not though . . . not really.

Vicky: You may not be blood . . . but you are family.  Do you know what a family really is??  People who take care of each other.  You and Josh are a part of my family . . . so just get used to it.  K?

Becca: Just not used to people doing nice things for me I guess.

Vicky: Well, GET used to it, sister!

Becca: That's TWICE today . . . okay (looks up) I get the hint . . . you don't have to hit me over the head with it!

Vicky: (looking at Becca strangely) Ummm . . . Bec?  Who you talkin' to?

Becca: Oh.  TPTB.  you know the people up there . . . They're trying to give me a clue and I've been dense.

Vicky: TPTB?  and a clue about what?

Becca: The Powers That Be and all day someone's being trying to tell me that I'm not alone anymore . . . that I AM part of a family and I JUST got it . . . Marley coming over with breakfast . . . you inviting me on this trip . . . Donna mistakenly calling you and Marley "my sisters" . . .  you trusting me with all this info about your past . . . and just now calling me "sister" even if it was just a figure of speech.

Vicky: Well, I'm glad you finally got it, cause you not alone and you are part of this family now . . . MY family, so get used to it, k?

Becca: (sarcastically) Okay, "SIS".

Vicky: (smiles) That's better.  We all set now?  NOTHING else you want to talk about?

Becca: (looking at her watch) Umm . . . no . . . and you're pushing again and I have to get back to work anyway.

Vicky: Actually, no you don't.  Donna said to talk as much as wanted so . . .

Becca: Vicky . . .

Vicky: Ok, Okay.  Let's go then. (they pay the check and leave)